tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-81363640102490137572024-03-07T23:32:20.400-08:00Another daughter to loveKatiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02712419524462352738noreply@blogger.comBlogger115125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136364010249013757.post-76109200970661993382011-03-28T06:57:00.000-07:002011-03-28T07:35:16.061-07:00The beginning of March was not a fun one for Julia. I think it was the 2nd or 3rd, school calls, "Julia does not seem to be herself, crying non stop, grunting, holding her abdoman, not eating, is definatly not the norm as she is re obcessed about food, eyes glassy, has a low grade fever. Off to go get her at school, she was like what they had said, except her balance was off too, was extra clingy, did feel warm. the only time she would stop crying was riding in the van. I called the Pedi, got her in about 90 mins later. She was really guarding her abdoman, mainly the bottom right side, where the appendix is located. the Dr and I just looked at one another, and he said maybe, try to keep her hydrated, if she becomes more lethargic, increased fever, take her to Childrens, or the local hospital if you feel that is needed first. She seemed to be getting better as the afternoon went on, about 4:30, she began to be more on the lethargic side, still guarding the abdoman lower right side, increasing fever, as this happens, the phone rings, the Pediatrician calling to check on things. Told him the deal, than I called my husband to come home from work, as I'm taking J to Childrens ER to rule out appendicitis, and/or a bowel obsrtuction. They took her quickly, an IV was placed for hydration, morphine for the pain, numerous Dr's coming into her room, all agree she should be admitted. Over to U/S we go, appendix looks ok, over to x ray for an abdominal one. Turns out little Miss funkmaster was impacted with stool, basically full of it. Enema alert! that was gross, but productive. We finally got up to the room at 3am, Julia has long been asleep on the stretcher for a while, I was wiped from being up almost 24 hrs. We hng out, numerous Dr's checked her through the following day, and she was discharged about 6pm, home by 7:15. Kept her home from school the next day. That night, at home, she slept about 14 hrs. the Pedi and I feel that in the end, Julia probabaly had some sort of virus giving her the fever, as she is a licker of unkown objects, not from needing to be cleaned out. We have upped the miralax and ex lax amount after I spoke with GI. Her muscle tone is so low, things don't move well. she is also back on the anti psychotic she was on when she first arrived her 21 monthes ago. Having aggresive odd behavior, seems to help. She is re obcessed with food, even before this med was re started, as it increases ones appetite. J recently had an appt with endocrinology, the Dr was very nice. she gave me a script for synthroid for Julia, as her thyroid is off too. Recently I got the note back from J's developmental Dr, her head is the size of a 21m old, developmentally a n 18m old, our 8 yr old toddler, figure her brain is pretty tiny in that little skull too. I did ask her developmental Dr if she thought J may have fetal alcohol as she is so very small, the Dr felt that her birth mom may have had more than one drink while pregnant with her, we can't prove it, but the Dr felt that most likely she does, even though people with DS are small in stature, she is very tiny, about the size of a 4 yr old. It's still amazing when I look at Matt, since birth he has had the best medical care, loving family, nutrition, early intervention, pre school, doing well in elementary school, alot of services to help enhance his life, everything a child needs to succed. Than I look at Julia, who was abandoned by her parents, no love, lack of nutrition, no stimulation, negelected, on an adult anti psych med for who knows how long, which her Psych Dr feels gave her some brain damage, absolutly nothing, but a roof over her head, which reeked of urine. I wonder what her life would have been like, had she had all the advantages that he had from birth up to now, never know. she looks like a toddler next to Matt, and they're only 2m apart in age. Back to Matt, he recent;y got an 80%, and a 100% on a reading comp test. the other day he informed me that "mom, some day I will be driving, I'm going to start saving up for a car of my own. Maybe Matt will be one of the kids with DS that will drive, that really scares me. Last thursday, went to the first of Ashleys orientation to middle school, that floored me too, I just can't believe that she will be 10 in June. Another 10 yrs, she will be in college somewhere, she'll always be my sweet pea.Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02712419524462352738noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136364010249013757.post-48000125171874461312011-02-11T07:35:00.000-08:002011-02-11T07:45:44.549-08:0010 days ago, Julia had an appt with the hep RN and the liver Dr for her 6m post treatment appt and labs. Her labs were a little off, nothing out of the norm. The Dr was really waiting for the viral level to come back, flt that since Julia had done so well and responded favorably with the 6m treatment we had done last year, we all were positive that the virus was gone. the Dr got that lab back 3 days ago, it is not meant to be. the virus is back in Julias system. We are now looking at another 48-49 wks or 11 monthes of another round of treatment. The Dr, RN, my husband and I thought this would all work out in Julias favor, just really sucks. The Dr figured that the DNA of the virus she has, is one of the easier to treat. wonder if it's Julias funky self. She stops treatment, does the virus just start regenerating itself, her metabolism, anotomy and/or physiology of her liver? Maybe she needs a liver ultrasound or scan? I was stressed, stunned, and crying a few days ago about this. Just start up treatment again soon and keep praying. Her thyroid came back high as well this lab. this level fluctuates between high and normal every other lab, normal, high, normal, high, etc. I got an appt for Julia March 9. Always something.Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02712419524462352738noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136364010249013757.post-26127350989340266132011-01-25T08:23:00.000-08:002011-01-25T08:29:17.261-08:00Matt said something very funny yesterday. I drove the 3 kids to school as the buses were late from the freezing temps. After dropping Ashley off, Matt wanted to hear the song Two Hearts, by Phil Collins, one of his faves. I put it on, played it twice on the way to school in the van. Julias gone off with her aid, and I was talking with Matts SPED teacher, and than she tells Matt, "you have an aid today, Mr. Collins" Matt than starts jumping up and down, so excited, "Mom, Phil Collins is going to be my aide today, can sing Two Hearts" We than had to burst his bubble, sorry Matt, his name is Steve. Matt than said, ok, I guess, he sounded so bummed. Leave it to Matt. Katey Perry is coming to Boston in June, around Ashleys birthday, got me thinking, she would love that! Better than planning a party, and easier.Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02712419524462352738noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136364010249013757.post-63607092137124209832011-01-25T07:37:00.000-08:002011-01-25T08:18:54.564-08:00I am so sick of snow!! this winter we have been pounded with snow. On to Julias next medical visits in her life. Last week she went to the toilet training clinic and dental clinic at Childrens hosp. We are so done with changing gross, wet, poopy pull ups from Julia. We know she can't help it, not doing this out of spite, so we just keep changing her as need be. We have been having her use the toilet, has urinated in it alot, but no communication from her. We think she would just be content not to be bothered even in a soaked, poopy pull up against her skin for who knows how long. We only know since she'll stink. so after all the chatting bout this topic, the developmental Dr and nurse practioner who saw Julia, my husband and I, and her gazillion Dr's feel that she is 18m developmentally. Put that together with the significant delays, DS, very low muscle tone, living 6.5 yrs in the orphanage, encephalopathy, etc. the Dr asked me what we thought a good goal was for Julia to be potty trained, I told her, we would love it by the time she is 16. the Dr thought this was a very realistic goal. Another 8 yrs of toilet trining will just suck, but hoping before then. the Dr also ordered an abdominal x ray to check if stool was moving, nope. Julia was impacted with stool, looked like little sausage links sporadic in her bowels, even halfway up her back. I looked at her x ray with the Dr and nurse, by accident I said "holy shit, it's even up her back. I'm usually the "Professional parent" at the kids Dr's appt. The Dr just looked at me and said "yes". the Dr felt that since Julia had alot of stool impacted that we go the one square ex lax, miralax route to get this cleaned out, and than can give her benefiber once a day. the Dr asked when Julia would be seeing GI, as she felt that maybe Julias bowels don't contract that well, coupled with low muscle tone=impaction. Julia has a GI Dr, and all ready has an appt in a few weeks with him, another thing to bring up other than reflux. Back to the pottying, as Julia is developmentally 18m old, way too young to start training, so just keep doing what we're doing, hope for the best. i'm so glad that the Developmetal Dr was there, she is also the director of the Internation Adoption/foster care program and has known Julia since Aug 09. I asked her what she thought of Julia and PDD, and the Pscyh Dr agreed, even though developmental didn't see Julia for that, she agrees with the Psych Dr, asked how I felt about this new diagnosis. We just feel bad for Julia. Chatted for a few more minutes, than left for the dental clinic. Julias teeth are still not great, still have plaque, severe over crowding, etc. she had a little baby tooth pulled as hopes of the 2nd front tooth coming in that spot, no room with the baby tooth there, was slightly loose, the procedure only took about 30 mins, no OR so that was good. The dentist was the one that was involved in her oral surgery last summer, so he knew her well. He said he did feel the front tooth at the gum line, her front teeth are huge, like in the movie, Nanny McPhee. hoping she will have that tooth come in quickly. The first front tooth came in about a month. Julia started getting sick about a week ago, didn't wait as long as we did last time to have her checked, as last fall with pneumonia and sinusitis. I brought her to the Pedi after 3 days of the runny nose greenies, coughing, being tired, unusually clingy, temp. She has a right ear infection, and the Pedi thought she was on her way to another bout of sinusitis, so he figures clear them both up with amoxicillian. she's ok, and at school. Yesterday, the phone rings, town number while kids at school=panic attack. the school RN, "Julias hands are rather purple today, what should I do?" thought to myself, not to send her home. I just told her run them under warm water, keep her inside, not much else you can do, her circulation isn't the greatest under 60 degrees. Even our house is 70 degrees, hands and feet purple. If the school RN is calling commenting, guess I should call Rheumotology now for an appt. Expecting another 10-15" of snow weds night into thurs, kids home another day. this rate, they should have school until July. guess I should go get some errands done, before I know it, the school buses will be here.Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02712419524462352738noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136364010249013757.post-45783691350831540892011-01-10T06:40:00.000-08:002011-01-10T06:57:14.652-08:00I still had a sneaking suspiscion about Julia and autism. Her social skills and eye contact just suck, she prefers to be alone, in her room, door closed. She just goes along becasue she has to. Christmas eve was at my sis, she has 3 girls, so they're not strangers to Julia, BIL, my brother, my mom, and her husband were there. Julia wouldn't even barely look at them, never mind babbling to them. she either obcessed over the food, or would just walk from the kitchen, through the hall, to the living room, and back around again, about 50 times. Basically no interaction at all. the obessive behavior, repeatative behavior, having some agression at school, seen some regression. So I sent an E mail to the psych Dr, who was out of town, and page him after the date he returned. I told him what we have seen, he knows her quite well, has been seeing her since she came home, which was almost 18m ago, hard to believe. After speaking with him, he diagnosed her with PDD-NOS (pervasive developmental disorder-not otherwise specified) is a diagnosis of the autism spectrum. We are not at all surprised, she is so funky. Just another label, that will hopefully get her more services at school, and possibly we'll get some speech, more OT for her through Childrens or someone else locally. I spoke with her sped teacher, and we'll have a meeting soon, with the behaviorist. Hoping at some point this label will be removed.Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02712419524462352738noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136364010249013757.post-20342932229571178772010-12-30T07:40:00.000-08:002010-12-30T07:46:58.682-08:00Julia went to the dental clinic at Childrens yesterday. Her teeth aren't good either. Severe over crowding, a tooth will have to be pulled so the front tooth can come in, it's huge for her mouth. At least the front tooth was seen on x ray, we eren't sure if she would have one, as it was 5 monthes ago it was pulled (baby front). she has 3 adult teeth waiting to come in for a space that has only room for 2. At some point she is facing more OR dental time. she will will have this baby tooth pulled next month, after visit to the toilet training clinic. Done with changing her, but still has to be done. she has no desire to use a bathroom on her own, no communication of "hey I need help to use the toilet". Shows no interest of caring if she is wet and/or poopy. We got help on that for Matt from the toilet clinic, maybe they can give insight for Julia AKA funkmaster J.Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02712419524462352738noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136364010249013757.post-14141545190889336492010-12-21T07:16:00.000-08:002010-12-21T07:57:20.366-08:00I was just reading some old posts from when Frank, myself, the kids in ukraine in July09, and when I stayed behind to tie up the loose ends of Julias adoption. Reading this brought back memories so freesh. Can't belive it's been nearly 17 monthes. Julias adoption had all ready been granted, Frank and the kids were going home seventeen monthes ago today. Little did I know that once Julia and I had arrived back to Kyiv, met a great woman named Rhonda and her daughter Lena at the Dr office there. she really brightened my spirits, as it wasn't easy being there pretty much alone dealing with Julias very difficult explosive behavior, and explosive diarrhea. I reflect on those days, it wasn't all bad. Really liked the city of Kharkov. We were there in summer, all the flowers blooming, people eating at outdoor cafes, having a beer while walking down the street. All of these people out in public, except for the orphans. I am still stunned when I recall the time at Julias. I won't ever forget some kids tied to a plastic toddler seat with a sheet, and a child just jumping into my arms, still attached to a chair, maybe hearing an unfamiliar voice that maybe this person will hold me snuggle me in their arms just for a few minutes. I untied her and did just that. the staff was not happy. I remeber thinking WTF, this is just NOT right. It's NOT right to see babies just laying in a huge crib staring at the sky, as that's all the stimulation they have, at least they were outside when we saw them and it was nice out. I know their is hardly any money, the orphanage had a huge veggie garden, they wash clothes in what looked like an above ground pool that was caving in, guess they just move the clothes around with a large broom handle, and hjang them to dry anywhere. they had an abundance of fruit trees as well. NOT right when Julia had post traumatic stress when we took her apple picking, as we had forgotten she had sat under the same apple tree for years, doing NOTHING. another woman posted on her blog, her adopted son from an institution did NOTHING! We are so fortunate in America, I think nothing here takes on such a differant meaning, than what Julia had, or my bio kids squawking "i'm bored" they really have no concept of nothing or what absolute boredom is. They didn't grow up having to self soothe themselves, pull their hair, scream, they didn't have to be in flight or fight mode all the time, they were not alone. Julia was, never had love or affection, complete and utter boredom, absolutly NOTHING! Not even an identity. she is now starting to realize her name. To this day, I wonder, what happened to the kids in her groupa, one was adopted and lives in the mid west. The poor, little, lost souls. Probabaly lost away in an institution, makes me cry. I have alos never forgottten the words of our translator-adoption worker, "if she gets left here, she will die" and that snapped me right out of my funk. I would really like to go on a mission back there, but maybe someday. I guess I left some of heart there. Off that soap box, on to the next. About 3 wks ago, Julia was sick with a sinusitis, and pneumona, she and I spent about 2.5 hrs in the ER, quiet as it was Thanksgiving, she was nearly admitted. Spoke with the pulmonary Dr about the chest x ray, seems she has a few more funky nodules in her lungs, we're and the Dr are ok with it, just keep an eye on it. He feels that her lungs are midly abnormal, but they work, she can breathe, getting good amounts of oxygen, so that's good. Next Dr I have to find for her is rheumotology, as little miss Funkmaster most likely has Raynauds, where the circulation sucks to the hands, fingers, and feet. they turn a splendid plum color, get very cold, as if she has been out in the cold winter air for hours without shoes or mittens for hours. this still occurs when she is inside with the home of 70 degrees. Usually the purple gets much darker if the outside temp is below 60 degrees. Her face, lips, mouth does not color so that's good. she has been showing some aggression to her class mates in school, circle time she has tried to kick and push a few kids, nice. Matt had a rough day last week at school, a one page note was wriiten about this, not just a few sentances. I felt bad about this, and shed a few tears. I spoke with the SPED teacher yesterday about having a meeting with the regular teacher, SPED, the aide (who is great with Matt), and the school behaviorist, about Matts ongoing school behavior, and being a personal space invader to people. He had a dental appt yesterday, not good. Charming Fellow will need major dental work, have to head in the OR for this. His bottom baby teeth are not loose, adult teeth are all set to come in, no where to go, severe over crowding, they all won't be able to fit. Top teeth same thing, except for the 2 teeth next to the front middle adult teeth are no where to be seen, probabaly won't have any in those spaces. At least he doesn't have any cavities, as somedays are teeth brushing battles. Lets see, can't forget Ashley. She is 9.5 yrs old, somedays going on 16. somedays she is so stubborn, yelling. Others she is just amazing, she likes to help me, she helps with Julia, she now can bring the dog in an out, feeds the pets, becoming more responsabile. I really enjoy being with her. I guess I shold go get some last minute errands done, 4 days until Christmas.Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02712419524462352738noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136364010249013757.post-57564455588307316622010-11-03T09:09:00.000-07:002010-11-03T09:24:38.155-07:00Seems lately the days just fly by. the last 2 wks have been filled up with kid appts and school meetings. Ashley went to the dentist today, 3 loose teeth, over crowding, no cavities, may need to see an orthodontist. See what the dentist says in 6 monthes at the next check up. she's doing great, have a school meeting about her tomorrow at 12p. Julia will see pulmonary tomorrow at 8am, so she will get to school at a decent time. hoping the Dr won't order another chest x ray, just go by the one from Oct. I don't want the Dr to order a pulmonary function test, where one blows as hard as they can into a tube, measures lung function. Ok Julia blow as hard as you can in here, she would give me the usual deer in the headlights look, she can't even blow from a bubble wand, never mind that test, NOT. At the moment she has a cold with greenies, hoping not a sinus infection, as her immune system isn't the best. Last week she saw her first school play, I went, and her class went by school bus to the high school. I thought it would be like a play for real little kids, it wasn't, it was pretty good, I really enjoyed it. Not kids from the high school, don't know where the actors were from. Had singing, music, dance. Julia was yelling out, "goo jah, goo wah" (good job, good work) Most of her sppech consists oif babbling, in english she says very well, eat, more, knee, mum. Her understanding of English is pretty good, she can follow commands, get things, helps, etc. Don't if she will ever speak coherantly. She is a nearly 8 yr old toddler, that looks like a 3-4 yr old. when I go to her school for something, and see her in the classroom, I realize just how significantly delayed she is, she more like a pre schooler. there is a little gal with Ds that is 5 in the class, and she just blows by Julia. I know all kids are differant, but as we know Julia had NOTHING, was sedated, and lived her first 6 .5 yrs of life in an orphanage where no one gave a shit about her. At least at school, the kids do make an attempt to speak to Julia, say hi to her, sit next to her, etc, even though she did not repond to them until I told her to wave. I was touched by that on the field trip. AAh, the charming Fellow, he is doing very well in school, was the cutest vampire ever for halloween, he's doing well too.Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02712419524462352738noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136364010249013757.post-17152482191180204852010-10-08T07:41:00.000-07:002010-10-08T07:49:42.648-07:00And...will soon have Juilias blood sugar and urine checked for diabetes, as she wants to drink, drink, and drink some more, and urinates ALOT to the point of her pj's are wet nearly every monring, even though we have her use the toilet before she goees to bed. Not sure if it's becasue she has unlimited liquids, I do dilute the juice, lemonade, so it's 75% water. In her previous life, she was probabaly thirsty all the time, not anymore. She will suck down an 8 oz cup in about 15 mins, and want more. Also since she will be 8 next month, yearly labs will be coming up, thyroid (TSH), CBC (complete blood count) hematology labs, and thalassemia (genetic anemia issue). Her labs were so out of whack from the Hep meds, but that was done nearly 6 wks ago so it should be out of her system. Always something, TGIF!Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02712419524462352738noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136364010249013757.post-29354068986206396492010-10-08T07:17:00.000-07:002010-10-08T07:37:43.522-07:00Julias IEP meeting went well. I'll send an e mail to the Psych Dr for an order for more speech at school. Matt got a 100% on his first test at school, he was so proud of himself, we were too. Ashley is doing better in math so far. We had a scare a few days ago about Julia, this is why. 12 days ago Julia had her 5m scoliosis/ortho x rays. I figured, I'll leave message at the Ortho Dr office, check on how they came out. I get a call the next day "this is Dr Z office, Julias ortho x rays are ok, can you call us back". I thought, oh crap, they don't ask you to call back unless something is wrong, that's what I immediatly thought of. I called back, seems there is a spot on Julias lung, and Dr z all ready ordered a chest x ray, he wants you to have this done ASAP, tomorrow. I thought I was going to barf, a spot on her lung, got all teary. She has been through so much in the short 7 yrs of life. The worse came to mind...lung cancer. Called the Pedi after having the x ray done, he said call Childrens hosp for pulmonary, go from there. finally I speak with Ortho, who had consulted with radiology, the "something" on Julias left lung, is an odd shaped blood vessel, that protrudes out, a 2mm circle on the end, he said it does not look like a tumor, we'll keep an eye on it, she needs scoliosis x rays every few monthes anyway. consult with pulmonary and get their opinion. Phew! We were very scared, HUGE sigh of relief, doesn't look like a tumor. She also has diminished lung volume, so that should be checked too by pulmonary. I called the wonderful woman that helps to run the DS clinic at Childrens-Boston, got the name of the pulmonary Dr they reccommend, and Julia has an appt with him Nov 4, at 8am. Frank will love that, getting Ashley and Matt ready and out the door for school, I have to admit, I crank with the morning routine. The 3 kids are doing well, go bring Sophie (sweet dog) in, she's out barking her head off, probabaly at the multitude of chipmunks and squarils we have this year.Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02712419524462352738noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136364010249013757.post-88920612637469024582010-09-28T11:10:00.000-07:002010-09-28T11:30:44.212-07:00Matt and Julia had ortho appts yesterday. Julia was her funky orthopedic self,. Matt has a history of bad knees, has had knee braces for years. He hasn't complained about knee pain for monthes, until he saw the Dr yesterday. His knee caps have taken forever to develop, they are the size of marbles currently. The Dr moved the knee caps over easily, Matt complained it hurt, the left one was worse, it slid way over, and popped up, all I said was "oh Matt, that hurt? Looked bad, like a marble that jumped up under the skin, looked painfull, he told the Dr it did hurt, but not as much as the right knee. Now he has knee tendonitits, Dr put Matt on restrictions of NO jumping NO squatting, NO kneeling, and get the knee braces again. I don't think signing him up for hockey for kids with special needs is a good idea at this time due to his knees., About 6 monthes ago, Dr thought that maybe we had crossed the hurdle of Matts knees getting better, and finally getting knee caps. The bigger and heavier he gets, there is a possibility of them getting worse and not being able to support him without pain. Tomorrow is Julias IEP meeting. I received some reports about her and school, limited attention span from OT, and her SPED teacher said she is hitting staff, and throwing her glasses. I wrote a long note asking about her behavior to her teacher and what they do in that event. She hits one of us at home, time out immediatly. The girls got their flu nasal spray this norning, Julia needs Ortho x rays tomorrow morning get her back to school. Fri: Ashley a yearly eye appt, and Frank will take Matt for his yearly thyroid lab. I can't control him anymore havibg labs done, he's strong, goes crazy, maybe he won't act up as much if dad is there.Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02712419524462352738noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136364010249013757.post-424289793928184292010-09-24T09:19:00.000-07:002010-09-24T09:22:44.442-07:00Oh yeah, I do have to say that Julias receptive language in understanding basic commands in English is pretty good. We will ask her to do simple things and for the most part can follow through, can't say barely anything, babbles like a 14m old non stop. this morning as she was leaving for school, I said "Baka" to her which is good bye in russian, she didn't say it in return, but waved good bye, so she does understand, just can't speak for some reason.Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02712419524462352738noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136364010249013757.post-10615122225633591572010-09-24T08:58:00.001-07:002010-09-24T09:17:00.841-07:00Matt had school open house last night. I was impressed with his teacher, she was previously a SPED teacher before teaching "typical" 3rd grade. I do know that a lot of kids with DS have gone through her class. She told me that Matt is an asset to the class, his job every morning is getting his classmates to stand up and recite the Pledge of Allegiance, teacher said he also makes sure all the kids have their hand over their heart while saying this, or he will notice and tell the kids to do so. He is making friends, having good behavior (for the most part), participates willingly. So that was good to hear. Julia is still adjusting to the routine, have sporadic toddler tantrums, maybe a few "flop and drops" to the floor, trying to bolt, etc. I know every kids with DS is differant, their level of functioning, just like any child. When I look at Matt and Julia, and how their level of functioning is so differant. He is more like a typical 8 yr old, great expressive and receptive speech, good comprehension for an 8 yr old, carries on conversations, etc. Than I look at Julia, who physically resembles a 3-4 yr old, and she'll be 8 in Nov. I know somewhat about her life before us, know nothing about her birth mom while pregnant, labor/delivery, she was abandon shortly after being born, just left at the hospital, better than being left in the woods or a field. Transffered to the orphanage where she stayed until we came along, no love, negelected mentally, emotionally, physically, her brain being affected during her early years, poor vision. Sedated for a reason that is truly beyond me, for years. She is so tiny, despite having a big growth spurt after coming here last year. So significantly delayed, at nearly 8 yrs old, can't even get the concept of maybe coloring in the lines of a circle at school, just a little in the lines. I guess in the long run that won't really matter. As long as she can do the skills of getting dressed, bathing, personal hygeine,hopefully be using a toilet independantly one day, still in pull ups, no where near being toilet trained despite our best efforts, bathing, getting her basic needs of life met, and having some communication that will work too. She doesn't really need to learn alot about the world, just her world and how to get by in it. The things she has alot of trouble doing, we really take for granted. Off the soapbox.Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02712419524462352738noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136364010249013757.post-68428381082312203092010-09-22T13:25:00.000-07:002010-09-22T13:37:18.071-07:00Matt had his 8 yr check up today. He weighs 63 lbs, and is 4 ft tall. He will have his annual thyroid lab done by friday, it's always been normal, but sicne Matt has only grown 3/4" of an inch, do this ASAP. I really thought that Matt had a growth spurt, as he seems alot taller. Sicne taking him off the med he was on for behaviour issues/probs, now ADHD-impulsivity is rearing it's ugly head. I'll call Psych Dr and make an appt for Matt, he has one scheduled for Feb. but don't think we'll make it that long. There was a pretty med student in with the Pediatrician, so Matt went into ultra show off mode, was somewhat annoying. I totally forgot about Matts heart murmur, the dr felt was mild, but could still hear it. Frank rememebers the Cardiologist mentioning this years ago. Doesn't seem to bother him, so move on. On to a meeting with matts SPED teacher and his aide. Told me how well he's doing in 3rd grade, modeling after the kids in his class, just being fidgety. He acts up more in the SPED classrm and tries major avoidance tactics for the class work. It was a good meeting. I than went to Franks job and we had lunch together, than returned Ashleys shirt for a larger size, to Whole Foods and get Matt GF food, home, put out Sophie, sweet black lab mutt. Got the kids off the bus, and here I am enjoying a very warm 83 degree last day of summer in late Sept. I also talked to the Pedi about Julias thyroid and it has been elevated, her excessive need to drink water, lemonade, juice and urinating alot, her labs have to be repeated soon, and check for a genetic iron disorder. Bringing the kids out for a walk before homework starts.Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02712419524462352738noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136364010249013757.post-69961221484232434402010-09-17T13:26:00.000-07:002010-09-17T13:31:16.666-07:00The part about the med student didn't sound right as I typed it out. After the student knocked on the door, wrong room, the Dr's asked her if she wanted to hear about Julias story, she looked at the dr's and me for an invite into the room, before they answered, I said, sure, come on in, so she did. Matt had a great day at school. TGIF!Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02712419524462352738noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136364010249013757.post-59522802329846813632010-09-17T12:47:00.000-07:002010-09-17T13:20:00.256-07:00Julia and I went off to Childrens-Boston this morning for her appt with the Psych Dr. We get into the room, and there is a resident Dr for Psych alongside with regular Dr, sicne childrens is a teaching Hosp, that was ok. The Dr wanted Julias history from scratch from the time we arrived in Ukraine until we got home 14 monthes ago. After I was done answering the attending Dr questions, he tells me what an amazing thing we have done for Julia, and that we really did save her life, pat myself on the back for fighting for her to get meds back on board, even though the meds were completly wrong, so she wouldn't continue to have withdrawls, giving her life as she didn't have any. He reminded me of last year when he first saw Julia, the tiny, frail, sickly, malnourished, didn't even know her name, unable to make eye contact, just existing, no sparkle in her eyes, dull affect, less communication than she even has now, and seeing how she now has life, the medical care she has received, a loving family, she has really done well. I told him about the Neuro note, and how I interpreted that as all of Julias issues are DS related, I told the Psych I didn't think that was the case. I asked him if the antipsychotic she was on in Ukraine for yrs could have caused some degree of brain damage, he said yes, probably in her case, I asked about the possiblility of atrophy to her brain from severe neglect and barely any stimulation, "yes, this could be another possibility, and she has some abnormality of her brain as she is really unable to speak, even in Russian., just 2 clear words in English, eat and knees. The dr wanted to check this out more, and called Translator services, but the person that spoke Russian was unavailable, bummer. That would be interesting if she started speaking to him/her in Russian than we would know it's an English language barrier perhaps. Before we got there, the Dr spoke with one of his collegues, who had done his residency (many moons ago) in a Turkish institution, said it was a very scary place, and has never forgotten it and would it be ok to meet Julia, this other Dr eventually came into the room, very nice older gentleman, has worked in Eastern Europe, Israel, Turkey, Greece, has lectured around the Globe, etc. At one point he started to get teary, and left the room, and came back after hearing about Julia and how she lived. He was very moved by her strory. Than a med student knocks on the door, and says "oh sorry, wrong room", and the Dr's invite her in, they tell her of Julias story, she asks if it's ok to listen, guess the Dr's have the authority of who stays and go's, but I said sure, come in, the didn't object either. Turns out she is a med student in Psychology, and hearws about Julias story, the Dr tells her Julia has a brother with DS, who is a great kid, very high functioning, etc..etc. The student would really like to do a Psych paper on Matt and Julia, differances of kids living in the US with DS, and kids in Eastern Europe with DS, loving families V orphanage living. We will keep in touch about that, I don't mind. The dr also feels just give Julia some more time about her "funkiness" after all she has been out of Ukraine only 14 monthes. He feels that she is need of way more speech, he wants school to increase speech time, and see if insurance will cover speech for her and he will contact Children speech dept on our behalf for more. Also sees how she will do in the future, and think of some communication devices with voices for her if she's not really speaking. As we were leaving, the Psych Dr told me "maybe you should have been a Dr" I told him "maybe I should have". I felt pretty good after this appt, it was a really good thing WE, not just me, did for Julia, we really did save her life.Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02712419524462352738noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136364010249013757.post-91585398600088933172010-09-17T12:21:00.000-07:002010-09-17T12:27:22.671-07:00Matt had a tough day 2 days ago at school. His aide was out in the morning, so he gave this a run for her money. Walking down the hall, and Matt darts into the boys room, and turns on all the water faucets. There aren't any men around to go in, didn't want to leave him alone, and finally coaxes him out. So than he says he didn't use the bathroom, he has to go to the SPED room or the RN office. He chooses the RN office, proceeds to lock himself in, turned on the water, soaked himself head to toe, flooded the floor, and finally came out. I read this in his school note. I was surprised no one even called me. His clothes came home in a bag soaked, and weighed about 10 lbs from the water. He was happy watching Everyone Loves Raymond on his DVD player, than I told him the deal, took away the DVD player, he lost his mind, sobbing screaming, not fun. Thurs was ok, except his ADHD behavior was rearing it's ugly head, we weaned him off the med he was on, and hoping to keep him med free. Yesterday was a good day at school for him, hope today is too. Oops, have to get the kids off the bus soon. Julia had a very good appt at Childrens today, will type about this after the Banshies are home.Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02712419524462352738noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136364010249013757.post-32369962678265386172010-09-10T06:21:00.001-07:002010-09-10T06:30:44.194-07:00Today is Matts 8th birthday, can't believe it. I'll never forget the dreaded call from my OB-GYN Dr, "there is a possibility your baby could have DS" Than Matt was born with a heart defect called an AV Canal, when we found that out, DS took a back seat, we just didn't want Matt to die becasue of his heart. He had open heart surg at 2 monthes of age, and only weighed 9 lbs. God answered our prayers and helped guide the great cardiac surgeon, other Dr's, RN's, and other staff involved, and Matt made an amazing recovery, and was home in just 4 days. The baby with the dusky skin color was now a beautiful pink, not being exhausted just from a bottle. Fast forward, he has done remarkably well. He has the ability to make others around him happy and smile. He is loving, sweet, kind, nice, very outgoing, very charming, very funny, just an awesome kid who we thank God for. I love you Matt.Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02712419524462352738noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136364010249013757.post-3992193589513247072010-09-09T06:58:00.001-07:002010-09-09T07:08:58.478-07:00I was reading this blog from last year while in Ukraine, realized that I was strong there, getting julias medication back, dealing with all her withdrawls, the boredom when alone, only had the adoption worker-translator to speak English with and we weren't together alot, just a few hours a day. The only to rely upon was myself, as Frank and the kids were home 10 days before us. In order to get home: train from Kharkov to Kyiv, Kyiv to London, and the last leg was London to Boston. I was so determined to get home, ran through Airports to be right at the terminal, people who saw me probabaly thought i was insane, or a good runner while pushing Julia in a stroller at the same time. Even though more than a year has gone by, still so fresh, guess the whole process, what we saw, and did made such an impression on me, and us. All 3 kids are at school today, Julia started kindy in the morning, SPED in the afternoon. The 2 buses should be here at the same time, Ashley got on her bus fine, and waited in the driveway for the small bus to get here, kept looking at my watch, no bus, finally at 8:50, and the bus hasn't shown with school starting in 9 mins, packed them up in the van and drove them to school. Don't know what the prob was, not happy, as the past 2 morning, the bus has been very punctual. Poor Matt, he was sobbing, "the bus..the bus..need it..want it.." tears flowing. Felt bad for him, but he will take it home. Guess I should get a move on, despite the banshies being gone all day, have to be home around 3, that will fly by.Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02712419524462352738noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136364010249013757.post-72014808197906915122010-09-08T06:27:00.001-07:002010-09-08T07:06:14.397-07:00Took the kids for a couple trips to the beach for school started. I took them to a small beach where I could watch Ashley collect periwinkles and stay knee deep with Matt and Julia in the water. School FINALLY started for Ashley and Matt yesterday, and Julia starts kindy tomorrow. I can't belive she started 4th and he's just about completly integrated into 3rd grade. They're happy to be back, Matt has the same aid from 2nd grade, she's great with him, I like her alot. I finally deceided that Matt and Julia can take the little SPED bus to school, so done driving them from last year this was my routine last school year: get Ashley on the bus, pack Matt and Julia up in the van by 8:40, drive him to school, bring Julia to school by 12:30. Afternoon left at 2:50 got Julia, 3:10 got Matt as they're at differant schools, get home quick to get Ashley off the bus at 3:35, not fun. Got the SPED bus all arranged for this year, checked out the town school website, swear it said "ALL staff, kindy, and students return Sept 7" Got Matt and Julia on the bus, and went to coffee with a friend when they left. Enjoying the peace when my cell rings, jump out of my skin, not a school #, it can wait. Head over to the school for Julias kindy orientation and listen to the phone message, I thought to myself, this numer is familiar but can't 100% place it, listen, my friend, AKA Julias SPED teacher, "coming to orientation, kindy starts thurs, but we will keep Julia here until you come in" They were ok with it, I was so embarrassed. I walk into school, nearly bumped into the Principal, he's really nice, "did you speak with teacher about kindy starts thurs, it's ok that you sent Julia in by mistake, I figured you were probabaly out having coffee enjoying the peace, as he knows Matt well too as he is at that school, he just laughed, so that was ok. He is my peer, so that was ok, think if he was much older, maybe wouldn't see the humor in this. Met the kindy teacher, she seems very enthusiastic, all of the kids that came in were familiar with the routine, as they all probabaly went to pre school and had a good head start, unlike Julia. There is an adorable little girl with DS in there as well. Julia refused to sit with the SPED teacher, new aide, on the rug, just me. The staff took the kids out of the classroom so the teacher could speak with the parents, poorJulia, getting her into line, she kept signing "mom" and babbling, I told she was fine, I'll be right here, ta ta, that's her words for good bye. Think she was a little stressed, new school, new staff, no aid from camp. Back to the bus yesterday, she saw it, refused to get in, screamed like a cat, almsot ran into the back of the van, tried to make a run for the house. Hopefully tomorrow will be better. She hasn't been in any other vehicle than our van. Great news on the Hep C front: we have eradicated the virus from Julias system, the weekly injections are done, last one was last friday, and the liquid med will be done this friday as well. She will need labs done in about 5 monthes and we'll go from there. Her thyroid level is still off, so that lab maybe done sooner than later, as it's higher than normal. Hopefully her immune system will be much better as the med clears her system, as it's surpressed now. I also took pics of the kids before they left yesterday for school. As I have typed on here before, Matt is quite the character, and can't get enough of "Everybody Loves Raymond" There is an episode called The Model, where Ray takes pics of Robert doing modeling poses for a portfolio, it is very very funny. Matt decides he want to do poses like "Robert Barone" he wanted pics taken in front of a fan like on the show, Matt was so funny imatating this episode, I was in tears from laughing, and taking some pictures. About it from here, I'm having some wheezing, coughing, chest has a little burning, hope it's not bronchitis again, fine otherwise, life is good. God Bless America.Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02712419524462352738noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136364010249013757.post-44945801511637382272010-08-17T07:10:00.000-07:002010-08-17T07:47:02.543-07:00Julia finally had her dental work taken care of on July 23, we didn't have to stay overnight, but was a real long day. We left home at 9am, returned by 6:30-7pm. She had her teeth cleaned, 4 extractions, cavities filled, gums were ok fortunatly, scrapings, and x rays. She had a post op appt July 30, dentist felt all looked good, and will see her in 3 monthes. Camp ended Aug 5, which meant a month out before school starts. We went down to Cape Cod for a week of vaca. We went to the beach alot, explored, the Cape Cod Museum of Natural History, wherwe Matt and Julia were on the obnoxious side and had to be taken out, but Ashley really enjoyed it. We tried to wear out the kids everyday. Today Julia was scheduled to have a home EEG to see if she is having seizures, as school, us, Ashley, and camp had noticed her staring, even though it wasn't picked up on the hospital EEG last March. Leads are placed on her head, and we push a button when we see her stare. That would show if she is having seizures or her funky self. After reading the Neuro Dr post appt note, I deceided to bag it for now, canceled it. I didn't want to drag Ashley and Matt in there. The Dr note said that he didn't think she has CP, but has an abnormal gait,with staggering, and twisting of wrists and arms in close or halfway extended, closing of fists, cranial exam was remarkable since she has glasses with vision challenges, but Dr didn't stress what that was, and that the Encephalopathy was just.. DS related, depite not knowing Julias previous orphanage or birth history. If the home EEG shows no seizure activity, no further follow up needed. The Dr note meant to me that the Dr didn't seem concerned at all, despite his use of "abnormal gait with staggering, crainial exam was remarkable (whatever that means), and just DS" So this can wait too. I may contact the International Adoption/Developmental Dr and get her input. As she felt that we should get a consult for school for children and school with brain injuries. She also felt that the Encephalopathy is not "just DS" when we spoke in June, this was befoe the Neuro appt. Julia has her last Hep appt, hopefully on Aug31, she will have labs done at the hospital and that will tell us if she is DONE with Hep C, and that this 6 month treatment has successfully killed off the virus. She will need to have labs 2x a yr, than once a yr, than every 2 yrs for probabaly the rest of her life. Matts 8th birthday is in 3 wks, what to do? I think he wants to go to the movies, or get gluten ree pizza with some friends. We;re heading out to the western part of the state where there is a HUGE Yankee Candle store, they have theme rooms, gazillion candles, dip candles to make, it can take about 3 hrs just to browse around, the kids really like it, Julia could care less, think she may get a little over stimulated, but just give her a few jelly beans while in there for a distraction. They even have Santa Claus in there, Matt never fails to ask for a few seasons of DVD's for "everyone Loves Raymond" he has also asked for Bruins hockey tickets too. The Banshies are watching Sponge Bob Square (crappy) pants while i type. Shut that off and get moving.Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02712419524462352738noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136364010249013757.post-45299381794600488432010-07-29T19:33:00.000-07:002010-07-29T19:46:10.661-07:00time for me to get a little sentimental: Frank the kids have been home from Ukraine for a year on July 22, and Julia and I left her city of Kharkiv on the over night train to Kyiv a year ago this evening with our translator/adoption worker. 5:30 am Kyiv time, a year ago, would be on the train asleep after having some wonderful Ukrainian wine and chatting for hours with Angelina. Julia was pooping her head off since she had 3 types of parasites floating around making themselves at home in her intestines, but sleeping comfortable. that morning at the Dr's office in Kyiv, met a great woman from Texas and her adopted daughter. Rhonda, have to reminise again. July 31 will mark a yr sicne Julia and I got back home to Massachusetts, and she began her great life, we and she had no idea as to what was in store. She has done remarkably well over the past year, despite her significant challenges. Her birth parents really missed out, their loss is our gain. Seems ike Julia has been here for yrs. since last yr when Angelina (translator-adoption worker) said our crying good byes, we have kept in touch still via E mail and got her beautiful wedding pics, she knew we couldn't be there, but I was in spirit for her that day. I see a brand of cheese and /or yogurt called "Presidente: imported from France at our local grocery store, and we ate alot of that cheese/yogurt and I immedialty think of the grocery store in Kharkiv where we went grocery shopping there. where has a yr gone?Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02712419524462352738noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136364010249013757.post-38134346347274167322010-07-14T07:47:00.000-07:002010-07-14T08:13:26.768-07:00I finished Julias first annual report for Ukraine consulate in NYC. where has this year gone? She saw Neuro Dr yesterday about the EEG, and other questions we have. Seems the encephalopathy results are regarding the brain waves, one type of brain wave is much slower than for a child her age. The Dr felt that is was just from DS. I don't think that is right, and my instinct is telling me the same, I just don't buy that for some reason, just DS . Not that I'm a Neuro Dr, but Julia is so funky, such odd body movements, we have no pre natal history, early years in the orphanage, we do know there she was severly negelected, abuse going on. She still has staring episodes which the Dr asked about, about 2-5 sec, doesn't drop, lose consciousness, just stops, turns her head to the right, stares, and than goes on her way. He felt that we should have a home EEG, as the hospital one didn't pick this up, and if it shows seizure activity, than go the MRI route. I told the Dr that she is going into the OR for her teeth on the 23rd of this month, and maybe do an MRI than, as she will be out. Why sedate her twice? Don't think he was keen on that idea. We have all ready done the home EEG route with Matt when he was a baby, so that doesn't bother us, putting her under again for an MRI, bothers me. The issue of CP, he was on the fence about. He said that Julia has reflexes, kids with CP have diminished refelxes, "Well, our son with DS has nearly non existant refelxes and doesn't have CP" No comment from the Dr on that one. He did find an appt note from Ortho, slight hip bone (forgot the correct med term) flattening, common with DS, and common indicacator of a child with mild CP" the Ortho Dr also has a CP clinic. I have not seen that note but am requesting it today from the Ortho office. Neuro said "hum, that's interesting that Dr Z wrote that after seeing Julia" I told the Dr about julias vision, even with glasses, her head is up, and looking ahead, she still needs protection from walking into objects, as cars, walls, doorways, maybe a brain-vision issue? He thought there could be. other than her nearsightedness. The developmental-international adoption Dr seemed to be more into the possibility of the mild CP issue, as she really understand how Julias early years were living in the orphanage, no history about her birth mom pregnancy, labor-delivery, if she ever drank or did drugs during, nothing. The orphanage was tight lipped about any of this. Anyway I may E mail Neuro and ask about the MRI again, as we can get pics of her brain, as she will be under anesthesia for her oral surgery. Obviously something isn't right, and Neuro did mention that Encephalopathy is a brain disorder, the home EEG is the easy part. Camp is now on the ball of recording her staring episodes too. Ashley and Matt are doing amazing. I'm having my friends 17 yr old daughter hang out with Ashley for a little while this afternoon. YYIIPPEE!!Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02712419524462352738noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136364010249013757.post-65035412672118216052010-07-06T07:37:00.000-07:002010-07-06T07:51:33.214-07:00Where has a year gone? A year ago today we were in London for a day sicne we missed the one and only connection to Kyiv, Ukraine. The 9th of July was the day we met Julia. I don't think the orphanage would even recognize her as she has grown 6" and gained 5-6 lbs. her hair has grown beyond her shoulders, it was a bowl cut to the top of her ears last year. She is medically complex, like a 7 yr old toddler, but enjoying life. Her receptive skill to English is pretty good, easily follows commands (except for the toddler part when she wants her own way, selective hearing), loves school, and loves camp this summer. Yesterday was her first time ever in a pool, loved it! Her muscle tone is so very low, that she was wiped from working them in the water. She is significantly delayed in every area, requires hand over hand for just about everything, but is still making progress. I think of our translator/adoption worker, we keep in touch still through e mail. Think of Natasha and Vadeem, spouse drivers we had in Kharkiv, Vadeem driver in Kyiv, all so nice, and we all got along well. Been a year, but still seems so fresh. I know we will never forget them, all we have to do is look at Julia and reminisce. I really like the cities of Kyiv and Kharkiv, Ukraine. So old, some of the bldgs and statues, the Russian Orthodox churches were beautiful and ornate. I won't get into how I felt about the orphanage. So differant than anything in America, obviously a differant country, differant culture. We would like to get back to London one day. Ashley and Matt are great travelers, Julia would be annoyed. got to get some errands done, as Camp has all ready called that Matt is complaining of not feeling well, but talking about pizza. they re directed him and he was ok. Before they call again, and hopefully won't, gotta run.Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02712419524462352738noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8136364010249013757.post-6055264690324194992010-07-02T07:00:00.000-07:002010-07-02T07:16:47.465-07:00We finally got Julias Ukraine passport returned, with a copy of the FIRST YEAR reports that have to filled in and mailed to the UA consulate in NYC. Where has this year gone? Julia and Matt are at the camp for kids with special needs down the street, and Ashley and I are hanging at home waiting for the hep meds to be delivered since I have to sign for them. Julias latest appt was the International Adoption/developmental Dr at Childrens. I really like this Dr, as she gives me insight as to Julias past orphanage living and what these kids can act, have post traumatic stress, attachemnt probs,behaviors, etc. In regards to Julias encephalopathy (brain disorder), the Dr suggessted that we get a school consult to teach kids with traumatic brain disorders/injury how to teach her more effectivly, throw in also teaching a child with autism, which the Dr feels that Julia show tendancies too, but most likely institutional induced not just about treaching a child with DS. I heard the words "traumatic brain injury" and wanted to cry. We have no idea as to how this happened and we never will. The Dr said possibly shaken baby, abuse, labor and delivery, her birth moms prenatal neglect. I also brought up the issue of mild CP, she saw Julia walk and her odd body movements and felt that this could be a possibility too, but Neuro would know betteras we see him next week. Just would like some answers, but she is still out little "Funkmaster B" Her self stimming behavior is increasing, but we try to distract her or try to show her how to look at a book, instead of waving it in front of her face, at least she can't do this with the large electronic toys. Well, sicne Julias meds are here, and Ashley and I don't have to hang out between the hrs of 9-12 waiting for it, we're heading out to enjoy this beautiful sunny summer day.Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02712419524462352738noreply@blogger.com0