10 days ago, Julia had an appt with the hep RN and the liver Dr for her 6m post treatment appt and labs. Her labs were a little off, nothing out of the norm. The Dr was really waiting for the viral level to come back, flt that since Julia had done so well and responded favorably with the 6m treatment we had done last year, we all were positive that the virus was gone. the Dr got that lab back 3 days ago, it is not meant to be. the virus is back in Julias system. We are now looking at another 48-49 wks or 11 monthes of another round of treatment. The Dr, RN, my husband and I thought this would all work out in Julias favor, just really sucks. The Dr figured that the DNA of the virus she has, is one of the easier to treat. wonder if it's Julias funky self. She stops treatment, does the virus just start regenerating itself, her metabolism, anotomy and/or physiology of her liver? Maybe she needs a liver ultrasound or scan? I was stressed, stunned, and crying a few days ago about this. Just start up treatment again soon and keep praying. Her thyroid came back high as well this lab. this level fluctuates between high and normal every other lab, normal, high, normal, high, etc. I got an appt for Julia March 9. Always something.

Matt said something very funny yesterday. I drove the 3 kids to school as the buses were late from the freezing temps. After dropping Ashley off, Matt wanted to hear the song Two Hearts, by Phil Collins, one of his faves. I put it on, played it twice on the way to school in the van. Julias gone off with her aid, and I was talking with Matts SPED teacher, and than she tells Matt, "you have an aid today, Mr. Collins" Matt than starts jumping up and down, so excited, "Mom, Phil Collins is going to be my aide today, can sing Two Hearts" We than had to burst his bubble, sorry Matt, his name is Steve. Matt than said, ok, I guess, he sounded so bummed. Leave it to Matt. Katey Perry is coming to Boston in June, around Ashleys birthday, got me thinking, she would love that! Better than planning a party, and easier.

I am so sick of snow!! this winter we have been pounded with snow. On to Julias next medical visits in her life. Last week she went to the toilet training clinic and dental clinic at Childrens hosp. We are so done with changing gross, wet, poopy pull ups from Julia. We know she can't help it, not doing this out of spite, so we just keep changing her as need be. We have been having her use the toilet, has urinated in it alot, but no communication from her. We think she would just be content not to be bothered even in a soaked, poopy pull up against her skin for who knows how long. We only know since she'll stink. so after all the chatting bout this topic, the developmental Dr and nurse practioner who saw Julia, my husband and I, and her gazillion Dr's feel that she is 18m developmentally. Put that together with the significant delays, DS, very low muscle tone, living 6.5 yrs in the orphanage, encephalopathy, etc. the Dr asked me what we thought a good goal was for Julia to be potty trained, I told her, we would love it by the time she is 16. the Dr thought this was a very realistic goal. Another 8 yrs of toilet trining will just suck, but hoping before then. the Dr also ordered an abdominal x ray to check if stool was moving, nope. Julia was impacted with stool, looked like little sausage links sporadic in her bowels, even halfway up her back. I looked at her x ray with the Dr and nurse, by accident I said "holy shit, it's even up her back. I'm usually the "Professional parent" at the kids Dr's appt. The Dr just looked at me and said "yes". the Dr felt that since Julia had alot of stool impacted that we go the one square ex lax, miralax route to get this cleaned out, and than can give her benefiber once a day. the Dr asked when Julia would be seeing GI, as she felt that maybe Julias bowels don't contract that well, coupled with low muscle tone=impaction. Julia has a GI Dr, and all ready has an appt in a few weeks with him, another thing to bring up other than reflux. Back to the pottying, as Julia is developmentally 18m old, way too young to start training, so just keep doing what we're doing, hope for the best. i'm so glad that the Developmetal Dr was there, she is also the director of the Internation Adoption/foster care program and has known Julia since Aug 09. I asked her what she thought of Julia and PDD, and the Pscyh Dr agreed, even though developmental didn't see Julia for that, she agrees with the Psych Dr, asked how I felt about this new diagnosis. We just feel bad for Julia. Chatted for a few more minutes, than left for the dental clinic. Julias teeth are still not great, still have plaque, severe over crowding, etc. she had a little baby tooth pulled as hopes of the 2nd front tooth coming in that spot, no room with the baby tooth there, was slightly loose, the procedure only took about 30 mins, no OR so that was good. The dentist was the one that was involved in her oral surgery last summer, so he knew her well. He said he did feel the front tooth at the gum line, her front teeth are huge, like in the movie, Nanny McPhee. hoping she will have that tooth come in quickly. The first front tooth came in about a month. Julia started getting sick about a week ago, didn't wait as long as we did last time to have her checked, as last fall with pneumonia and sinusitis. I brought her to the Pedi after 3 days of the runny nose greenies, coughing, being tired, unusually clingy, temp. She has a right ear infection, and the Pedi thought she was on her way to another bout of sinusitis, so he figures clear them both up with amoxicillian. she's ok, and at school. Yesterday, the phone rings, town number while kids at school=panic attack. the school RN, "Julias hands are rather purple today, what should I do?" thought to myself, not to send her home. I just told her run them under warm water, keep her inside, not much else you can do, her circulation isn't the greatest under 60 degrees. Even our house is 70 degrees, hands and feet purple. If the school RN is calling commenting, guess I should call Rheumotology now for an appt. Expecting another 10-15" of snow weds night into thurs, kids home another day. this rate, they should have school until July. guess I should go get some errands done, before I know it, the school buses will be here.

I still had a sneaking suspiscion about Julia and autism. Her social skills and eye contact just suck, she prefers to be alone, in her room, door closed. She just goes along becasue she has to. Christmas eve was at my sis, she has 3 girls, so they're not strangers to Julia, BIL, my brother, my mom, and her husband were there. Julia wouldn't even barely look at them, never mind babbling to them. she either obcessed over the food, or would just walk from the kitchen, through the hall, to the living room, and back around again, about 50 times. Basically no interaction at all. the obessive behavior, repeatative behavior, having some agression at school, seen some regression. So I sent an E mail to the psych Dr, who was out of town, and page him after the date he returned. I told him what we have seen, he knows her quite well, has been seeing her since she came home, which was almost 18m ago, hard to believe. After speaking with him, he diagnosed her with PDD-NOS (pervasive developmental disorder-not otherwise specified) is a diagnosis of the autism spectrum. We are not at all surprised, she is so funky. Just another label, that will hopefully get her more services at school, and possibly we'll get some speech, more OT for her through Childrens or someone else locally. I spoke with her sped teacher, and we'll have a meeting soon, with the behaviorist. Hoping at some point this label will be removed.

Julia went to the dental clinic at Childrens yesterday. Her teeth aren't good either. Severe over crowding, a tooth will have to be pulled so the front tooth can come in, it's huge for her mouth. At least the front tooth was seen on x ray, we eren't sure if she would have one, as it was 5 monthes ago it was pulled (baby front). she has 3 adult teeth waiting to come in for a space that has only room for 2. At some point she is facing more OR dental time. she will will have this baby tooth pulled next month, after visit to the toilet training clinic. Done with changing her, but still has to be done. she has no desire to use a bathroom on her own, no communication of "hey I need help to use the toilet". Shows no interest of caring if she is wet and/or poopy. We got help on that for Matt from the toilet clinic, maybe they can give insight for Julia AKA funkmaster J.

I was just reading some old posts from when Frank, myself, the kids in ukraine in July09, and when I stayed behind to tie up the loose ends of Julias adoption. Reading this brought back memories so freesh. Can't belive it's been nearly 17 monthes. Julias adoption had all ready been granted, Frank and the kids were going home seventeen monthes ago today. Little did I know that once Julia and I had arrived back to Kyiv, met a great woman named Rhonda and her daughter Lena at the Dr office there. she really brightened my spirits, as it wasn't easy being there pretty much alone dealing with Julias very difficult explosive behavior, and explosive diarrhea. I reflect on those days, it wasn't all bad. Really liked the city of Kharkov. We were there in summer, all the flowers blooming, people eating at outdoor cafes, having a beer while walking down the street. All of these people out in public, except for the orphans. I am still stunned when I recall the time at Julias. I won't ever forget some kids tied to a plastic toddler seat with a sheet, and a child just jumping into my arms, still attached to a chair, maybe hearing an unfamiliar voice that maybe this person will hold me snuggle me in their arms just for a few minutes. I untied her and did just that. the staff was not happy. I remeber thinking WTF, this is just NOT right. It's NOT right to see babies just laying in a huge crib staring at the sky, as that's all the stimulation they have, at least they were outside when we saw them and it was nice out. I know their is hardly any money, the orphanage had a huge veggie garden, they wash clothes in what looked like an above ground pool that was caving in, guess they just move the clothes around with a large broom handle, and hjang them to dry anywhere. they had an abundance of fruit trees as well. NOT right when Julia had post traumatic stress when we took her apple picking, as we had forgotten she had sat under the same apple tree for years, doing NOTHING. another woman posted on her blog, her adopted son from an institution did NOTHING! We are so fortunate in America, I think nothing here takes on such a differant meaning, than what Julia had, or my bio kids squawking "i'm bored" they really have no concept of nothing or what absolute boredom is. They didn't grow up having to self soothe themselves, pull their hair, scream, they didn't have to be in flight or fight mode all the time, they were not alone. Julia was, never had love or affection, complete and utter boredom, absolutly NOTHING! Not even an identity. she is now starting to realize her name. To this day, I wonder, what happened to the kids in her groupa, one was adopted and lives in the mid west. The poor, little, lost souls. Probabaly lost away in an institution, makes me cry. I have alos never forgottten the words of our translator-adoption worker, "if she gets left here, she will die" and that snapped me right out of my funk. I would really like to go on a mission back there, but maybe someday. I guess I left some of heart there. Off that soap box, on to the next. About 3 wks ago, Julia was sick with a sinusitis, and pneumona, she and I spent about 2.5 hrs in the ER, quiet as it was Thanksgiving, she was nearly admitted. Spoke with the pulmonary Dr about the chest x ray, seems she has a few more funky nodules in her lungs, we're and the Dr are ok with it, just keep an eye on it. He feels that her lungs are midly abnormal, but they work, she can breathe, getting good amounts of oxygen, so that's good. Next Dr I have to find for her is rheumotology, as little miss Funkmaster most likely has Raynauds, where the circulation sucks to the hands, fingers, and feet. they turn a splendid plum color, get very cold, as if she has been out in the cold winter air for hours without shoes or mittens for hours. this still occurs when she is inside with the home of 70 degrees. Usually the purple gets much darker if the outside temp is below 60 degrees. Her face, lips, mouth does not color so that's good. she has been showing some aggression to her class mates in school, circle time she has tried to kick and push a few kids, nice. Matt had a rough day last week at school, a one page note was wriiten about this, not just a few sentances. I felt bad about this, and shed a few tears. I spoke with the SPED teacher yesterday about having a meeting with the regular teacher, SPED, the aide (who is great with Matt), and the school behaviorist, about Matts ongoing school behavior, and being a personal space invader to people. He had a dental appt yesterday, not good. Charming Fellow will need major dental work, have to head in the OR for this. His bottom baby teeth are not loose, adult teeth are all set to come in, no where to go, severe over crowding, they all won't be able to fit. Top teeth same thing, except for the 2 teeth next to the front middle adult teeth are no where to be seen, probabaly won't have any in those spaces. At least he doesn't have any cavities, as somedays are teeth brushing battles. Lets see, can't forget Ashley. She is 9.5 yrs old, somedays going on 16. somedays she is so stubborn, yelling. Others she is just amazing, she likes to help me, she helps with Julia, she now can bring the dog in an out, feeds the pets, becoming more responsabile. I really enjoy being with her. I guess I shold go get some last minute errands done, 4 days until Christmas.

Seems lately the days just fly by. the last 2 wks have been filled up with kid appts and school meetings. Ashley went to the dentist today, 3 loose teeth, over crowding, no cavities, may need to see an orthodontist. See what the dentist says in 6 monthes at the next check up. she's doing great, have a school meeting about her tomorrow at 12p. Julia will see pulmonary tomorrow at 8am, so she will get to school at a decent time. hoping the Dr won't order another chest x ray, just go by the one from Oct. I don't want the Dr to order a pulmonary function test, where one blows as hard as they can into a tube, measures lung function. Ok Julia blow as hard as you can in here, she would give me the usual deer in the headlights look, she can't even blow from a bubble wand, never mind that test, NOT. At the moment she has a cold with greenies, hoping not a sinus infection, as her immune system isn't the best. Last week she saw her first school play, I went, and her class went by school bus to the high school. I thought it would be like a play for real little kids, it wasn't, it was pretty good, I really enjoyed it. Not kids from the high school, don't know where the actors were from. Had singing, music, dance. Julia was yelling out, "goo jah, goo wah" (good job, good work) Most of her sppech consists oif babbling, in english she says very well, eat, more, knee, mum. Her understanding of English is pretty good, she can follow commands, get things, helps, etc. Don't if she will ever speak coherantly. She is a nearly 8 yr old toddler, that looks like a 3-4 yr old. when I go to her school for something, and see her in the classroom, I realize just how significantly delayed she is, she more like a pre schooler. there is a little gal with Ds that is 5 in the class, and she just blows by Julia. I know all kids are differant, but as we know Julia had NOTHING, was sedated, and lived her first 6 .5 yrs of life in an orphanage where no one gave a shit about her. At least at school, the kids do make an attempt to speak to Julia, say hi to her, sit next to her, etc, even though she did not repond to them until I told her to wave. I was touched by that on the field trip. AAh, the charming Fellow, he is doing very well in school, was the cutest vampire ever for halloween, he's doing well too.